An Attempt At Poetry

We just returned from our Winter vacation travels around Korea. Long bus rides led to this feeble, yet hopefully entertaining, poetic account of our trip. Try to ignore the extra syllables stuck in places they don’t belong.

We’re leaving Ulsan on a holiday break,

not sure if we’re making a silly mistake.

Not knowing the language can make it real rough

to figure out all of that critical stuff,

like busses and taxis and cheap love motels,

and avoiding those foods causing Jimmy’s “Peanut Hell”

We made it from Ulsan to Yeosu and Boseong,

while wearing a hat with a monkey’s long fur dong.

In Boseong we ate, sipped, and soaked in green tea,

then headed to Mokpo to feast on kalbi.

These sleepy ghost towns weren’t all that exciting,

so we watched MTV in the motel black-lighting.

Next came the best little town of them all,

a place called Jeoju, where the buildings are small,

the police aren’t scary, the houses are old

and the wine is for tasting, which helps in the cold.

On the corner is where we met Rocky and Rex,

who served us cold beer and a ton of tex-mex.    

We played cribbage and jenga, and listened to Zepplin,

it was getting real late, like almost eleven.

I screamed like a baby at the crashing-down tower,

and then screamed again at the sideways-jet shower.

That morning we woke to a blanket of snow,

and searched for some food- Where is it? I don’t know!!  

Map in hand, we looked for Jeonju bibimbap

after walking in circles a cab found the spot.

Gold bowls filled with rice, egg and long veggie strands,

and a cook who went pee without washing her hands.

We scarfed, even though Josey’s tooth has a wobble

from a highly-debatable shower-head squabble.    

Then I sat in a humongous pelican beak

that smelled like the homeless had taken a leak.

By now it was time to say farewell to Jeonju

and get on another long bus ride to Muju,

a town at the base of a magical mountain,

with skiing and sledding, and maybe a fountain?  

By now Jimmy’d suffered through Tyra’s “Top Model”

and then had to pee in a bus water bottle.

Whiskey and house wine on the way to the top

left us cold and confused when we missed our bus stop.

We trekked through the snow for a warm place to dine

and Oh Thank You God saw the Dominos sign.    

Pizza, sweet pickles, and fake garlic slop,

was this really worth the trip up to the top?

Too late to go sledding, too poor for a villa,

we sat and drank coffee, and saved up our scrilla.

Two hours, four crosswords and one arcade later,

we found the right bus with the help of a waiter.  

Down off the hill, we were not filled with woes,

at least we still have all our fingers and toes.

I snuck into a motel, which left us all snickering,

but lay wide awake as the light kept on flickering.

Power on, power off, it insisted on strobing,

eyes open, eyes closed, in my brain it was probing.    

Eight hours later we’re holding back tears,

but now we can head up to Seoul for New Years.

Squashed on a bus, a man sleeps on my shoulder,

at least he prevents me from getting much colder.

In this sub-zero weather, it’s that much I owe him,

plus, it’s material for this silly poem.

Arriving in Seoul our bones turned into ice,  

so we found a warm cafe with hot soup and rice.

The city was lit up with bright decorations,

preparing for that night’s New Years celebrations.

But before we could party it up in the streets,

we had to go purchase some beer, wine and treats.  

I loaded the card and charged to the plastic,

but who cares? This city is f***ing fantastic.

11 p.m., one hour till countdown,

we hopped on the subway and headed toward downtown.

Folks from all over the world filled the streets,

with fireworks, sparklers, and hot street food eats.  

We pushed through the mob toward the big, famous bell,

thousands of people—was a claustrophobe’s Hell.

Goodbye 2009! Anyang eh kaseyo!

New Years resolution? Avoid foods with mayo.

The crowd was real rowdy, must not lost my wallet!

as we welcomed “o-ten”, as Jimmy will call it.  

New Years in Seoul? Sure does beat Eugene

(though I always will love my yellow and green)